Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I've received my official diagnosis.  Apparently, my method of forgetful parenting cannot be attributed to Alzheimers Disease.  I am, in fact suffering from Momzheimers.

You might ask (in an angsty tone), "So, what does that mean...!?"

Well, let me explain.  People with Momzheimers are a misunderstood lot.  And likely as not, they are not exctly sympathetic figures.  It is unfortunate that it is the children who suffer when a  mom succombs to this tragic malady.

Are you afraid that you might be suffering from Momzheimers?  Here is a quick quiz to see if you should persue an official diagnosis.

Do you forget where you left your car keys (with alarming frequency)?

Do you remember to buy Diet Coke but forget to buy the milk, bread, eggs, etc.?

Have you ever sent your child to school in pajamas because you forgot to put the laundry into the dryer?

Have you ever forgotten (or been inexcusably late) to pick up your kids from school because you were distracted by Oprah?

Do you have a tendency to forget dentist appointments but retain the ability to remember a hair appointment?

If you can answer in the affirmative to any of the above scenarios, you may be in the early stages of Momzheimers.  Luckily there is treatment available. 

It has been my experience that chocolate helps.  Diet Coke is requisite.  A hug and/or a juicy kiss from a child is soothing.  A monthly pedicure is essential.  Take it from me, someone who is dealing with Momzheimers on a daily basis, you can survive this affliction.  Get treatment today and your family will thank you.


honeypiehorse said...

I live on coffee and chocolate

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