The Exercise Hierarchy

I've determined that there exists a Hierarchy of Exercise. I've felt its influence before, on those few (very, very few) times I've actually stepped foot inside a gym... And I recently experienced it yet again.

Olivia and I have been walking. (OK, so we've gone walking once, but we have every intention of continuing.) And while I was trudging up the hill to meet her, I was passed by the devoted walkers and runners and bikers... Of course, by devoted, I really mean fanatical. But you understood that, right? Anyway, as I plodded along, it was oblivious that I was not part of the in crowd. I know, shocking, isn't it?

First, there are the walkers. I am not a walker. I am certainly not a speed walker. I am a plodder, a meanderer, a traipser. Not a walker. I don't wear the right clothes, nor do I wear the right shoes. I'm ok with that, and the walkers seem to acknowledge that without judging me too harshly. They say hello, but they don't slow down to dilly-dally. I wave as they speed-walk past...

Next come the joggers. Or the runners, as I assume they prefer to be called. They seem to travel in pairs, breathing hard, determined to keep talking anyway. They give me the nod. It's the we're so much more dedicated to this than you are nod. I'm ok with that, too. They are kind in a poor thing sort of way. I just keep plodding along...

Disclaimer: Suncrest Dug has never passed me on his bike. This may or may not apply to him. Just thought I'd make that clear...

Lastly, the bikers. They're the interesting group. You have the quirky few, like Chubby Biker, but mostly they are die-hard athletes. They travel in assorted groups. The singles are too preoccupied with the amount of wind resistance they are encountering to be cordial. The groups of two (dare I call them couples?) are usually trying to one-up each other without looking like they are putting any effort into it. And the groups of three or more are the serious competitors. These groups will be clumped together one second, but the next, one will be challenging for the lead. Before you know it, it's an all-out battle for domination. I'd hate to be the poor schlump who was enjoying the scenery when the growing rivalry erupted!

Anyway, I recognize that I'm a plebe in the world of exercise. It's an interesting place to be. And once again, I find myself wishing that I were like Chubby Biker. Who would have thought that Chubby Biker would be such an enviable figure?

And the biker who triumphantly crests the hill ahead of the pack? I guess the only time I'll outrank him in this hierarchy is when he's off the road with a flat tire. I'm ok with that, too.

Cardiac Man

I am surrounded by interesting characters. Not only in my own home, but in the neighborhood, and on the hill. You may recall my post about Chubby Biker. By way of an update, Chubby Biker is making some serious progress! I noticed that she has shed the parka, and I think she has shed a few pounds besides! I'm proud of Chubby Biker. I have no idea who she is, but I feel a sense of gratification when I see her peddling up the hill. It reminds me that anyone can set a goal and progress toward it. Impending success is just waiting for anyone willing to work.

Now, Cardiac Man is another story. He runs daily... And he doesn't just run in the morning, I see him running all day long... I'm not sure if he does a breakfast run, takes a nap, then resumes his exercise regime in the afternoon... Or maybe it just takes him that long to get his mileage in... Regardless, rather than wanting to cheer him on, I want to go rescue him!

Like Chubby Biker, I don't really know who Cardiac Man is... But I have my own story that gets embellished a little each day. I think he was a Marine--I'm sure he must have had an illustrious military career and that is where the importance of physical fitness was instilled in him. The problem is, he still thinks he's that trim soldier with the buzz cut. I think he's deluded himself into thinking that our hill is the hill. Will he ever take it? I don't know. But I'm seriously worried that his body will call it quits before he makes it to the ridge. Don't tell Cardiac Man that I don't think he's capable... I certainly don't want to be responsible for crushing him, but will someone please check the side of the road each day while I'm gone? And if he is breathing too hard, for heavens sake, offer him a ride! I'm gonna worry about poor Cardiac Man...

Actually, the sad truth is that Cardiac Man may actually outlive me if I don't get moving soon!

I wanna be Chubby Biker...

Rain, snow, sleet, or sunshine... Gentle breezes, gale force winds... It doesn't matter, Chubby Biker is out there.

I don't know who Chubby Biker really is. I'm sure her actual moniker is a bit more mundane... But whoever she is, she's a regular fixture on the hill. And she's earned my respect. I have to think hard to remember a day when I haven't passed Chubby Biker in her effort-filled peddling to the top of the mountain. Sometimes she bikes in the morning, sometimes it's in the afternoon, but she's certainly dedicated to her daily challenge.

Biking to the top of our hill is a popular challenge for the bike set. In fact, passing bikers on the hill is not an unexpected event. I've become accustomed to fudging left of center (of my lane) to leave a safety buffer for the bikers. (And dare I mention that some of those bikers wobble across the line like drunks? Some of them need that safety buffer that I so generously provide!) Most of the bikers wear their fancy bike pants, with matching jerseys, toe-clipped shoes, and customized helmets. Not Chubby Biker, she wears sweat pants, sneakers, a basic helmet, and a puffy, down parka. She is obviously not an athlete. She probably started this exercise (no pun intended) in uphill peddling in an effort to lose a couple pounds. But her dedication and stick-to-it-iveness impress me.

I considered becoming one of those bikers, ok--maybe not seriously, because I can't seem to find a comfortable bike seat... I considered taking up jogging, but I just don't like to run... Walking works, but around here, it seems to require snowshoes. I want to be like Chubby Biker and get myself moving... Maybe I just haven't found my sport.

Those other bikers is their fancy pants just don't inspire me. I don't feel an unrepressed desire to cheer them on. They get their glory when they cross the finish line in record time. But not Chubby Biker--she's in no danger of winning a race anytime soon. But regardless, she's the one who gets my vote!

So, three cheers for Chubby Biker! Chubby Biker, I salute you! I am inspired by your willpower and dedication. And just think--a few more pounds and you can wear those silly (tight!) bike shorts, too! And then, of course, we'll rename you Hot Bike Chick! How's that?!

Wii Fit Parody

I have to be honest and tell you that I love my Wii Fit. But when I found this video on Laura's blog, it was so funny, I just had to post it!

Weight for Me!

OK--so I haven't made any changes to my SkinnyR graph because my weight hasn't changed. What's up with that?! I have been eating less and getting more exercise.

My neighbor has been taking me on the death march in the mornings. I really think she might be trying to kill me! She marches me down a gravely hill, then straight up the other side. I try to stop and catch my breath, but I am pretty sure she'll leave me to the coyotes if I don't keep up!

Anyway--exercise is good--right? And it probably won't kill me, right??? So, I guess I'll just have to keep at it. oh well...

But on a happier note, tonight was really fun! Some of the neighbors came over for an impromptu party. We set up the projector and (supposedly) watched a movie out in the back yard. I'm not sure how much of the movie actually got watched, but I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I just wish we had started doing this earlier in the season--we're expecting snow this weekend, so that will put an end to outdoor parties for a while.

Thanks everyone! It was fun while it lasted! We'll do it again next year!