Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Exercise Hierarchy

I've determined that there exists a Hierarchy of Exercise. I've felt its influence before, on those few (very, very few) times I've actually stepped foot inside a gym... And I recently experienced it yet again.

Olivia and I have been walking. (OK, so we've gone walking once, but we have every intention of continuing.) And while I was trudging up the hill to meet her, I was passed by the devoted walkers and runners and bikers... Of course, by devoted, I really mean fanatical. But you understood that, right? Anyway, as I plodded along, it was oblivious that I was not part of the in crowd. I know, shocking, isn't it?

First, there are the walkers. I am not a walker. I am certainly not a speed walker. I am a plodder, a meanderer, a traipser. Not a walker. I don't wear the right clothes, nor do I wear the right shoes. I'm ok with that, and the walkers seem to acknowledge that without judging me too harshly. They say hello, but they don't slow down to dilly-dally. I wave as they speed-walk past...

Next come the joggers. Or the runners, as I assume they prefer to be called. They seem to travel in pairs, breathing hard, determined to keep talking anyway. They give me the nod. It's the we're so much more dedicated to this than you are nod. I'm ok with that, too. They are kind in a poor thing sort of way. I just keep plodding along...

Disclaimer: Suncrest Dug has never passed me on his bike. This may or may not apply to him. Just thought I'd make that clear...

Lastly, the bikers. They're the interesting group. You have the quirky few, like Chubby Biker, but mostly they are die-hard athletes. They travel in assorted groups. The singles are too preoccupied with the amount of wind resistance they are encountering to be cordial. The groups of two (dare I call them couples?) are usually trying to one-up each other without looking like they are putting any effort into it. And the groups of three or more are the serious competitors. These groups will be clumped together one second, but the next, one will be challenging for the lead. Before you know it, it's an all-out battle for domination. I'd hate to be the poor schlump who was enjoying the scenery when the growing rivalry erupted!

Anyway, I recognize that I'm a plebe in the world of exercise. It's an interesting place to be. And once again, I find myself wishing that I were like Chubby Biker. Who would have thought that Chubby Biker would be such an enviable figure?

And the biker who triumphantly crests the hill ahead of the pack? I guess the only time I'll outrank him in this hierarchy is when he's off the road with a flat tire. I'm ok with that, too.

3 comments:

honeypiehorse said...

Hmmmn. I guessing you don't want to be Chubby Walker? Although thanks to Chubby Biker it's a name to reckon with. I would be proud to be Chubby Walker. If I walked.

Bebe said...

You actually do have a point. And whether or not I like the moniker, I'm sure someone has already thought of me as the Chubby Walker. But if I get the kind of results that Chubby Biker is showing, then bring it on! I'll be hence forth known as Chubby Walker!

TravelByTurtle said...

YOU don't wear the right shoes??? What have you done with the real Bebe?

 
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