Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Mister's Foibles

For the record: The Mister not only knows about this post, he was pre-warned.

I love The Mister, I really do. But, even those we love can have peculiar or eccentric characteristics. The Mister has one particularly long-documented foible...  I can live with his Paper Man tendencies.  I raise my brows at his embarrassment for other people--even when they aren't embarrassed for themselves.  I smirk at his signature snack--melted cheese and milk toast (seems a little geriatric, doesn't it?).   But there is one idiosyncrasy which truly drives me up the wall.  The Mister loses things.

I know we all misplace things occasionally. The mate to a sock. The car keys. The cordless phone.  I Even understand the temporary loss of a car in a large parking lot, or an investment in a start-up...

But The Mister LOSES things! And it's never the $5 flip-flops or the old sweatshirt. It's not the 7-11 sunglasses. It's not the lid to the toothpaste.

The Mister has a penchant for losing expensive or hard-to-replace items. These losses usually equate to significantly inconvenient situations... Followed by ineffectual searching... Resulting in eventual replacement purchasing...

Let's document. The credit cards (numerous times), actual cost, just the inconvenience.  The mail key (still missing), re-keying cost, $40.  Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, worn once, $50.  The electronic key to his company car (twice), $85.  Maui Jims that he had to have for nostalgic reasons, $150.  His wedding band, worn for approximately 6 months, $200.  His company Blackberry, $400.   President's Club ring, $500.   The company laptop, $2000.  An entire Volvo sedan, $3000.  And his own hearing aids, $5000.

So, what inspired this post?  Well, here's the thing...  The Mister has lost something new.  The Mister has actually lost pants.  We flew to NYC, stayed overnight, went to a show, and The Mister flew home alone.  Unsupervised...  Which is where the trouble started.  When I arrived back home, a few days later, we couldn't find his pants.  His brand new, I-pleaded-with-him-to-buy-them, $160 Big Star jeans.  Now, you might ask, how did he get home with his shoes and his shirt but no pants?  Well, that's the six million dollar question.  You didn't happen to see a bottom-less passenger on a recent flight from JFK to SLC, did you?


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