Thursday, August 6, 2009


My life has been full of changes. I never really thought I had issues with change, but now I'm not so convinced... I've been married, divorced, married again. I've been a single mom. I've moved around (a lot!). Sometimes I think we've moved more times than I can count! We've moved from Utah to Nevada to Arizona and back to Utah (with a few other states unaccounted for)...

I used to be a young mom who was mistaken for the babysitter of my only child... Now my babies are growing up and leaving the nest. I'm no longer the young mom with one or two babies at home all day. I'm now the proud mommy to five amazing, young people (notice I didn't say "little" --the oldest is 6 feet tall!).

My life has been seriously full of change... I've changed jobs, responsibilities, and dress sizes, diapers, paint colors, and carpet, friends, favorites, and habits... In fact, I think the only thing I haven't changed is the color of my hair...

Why is it that I'm just now realizing that I've never really found a way to successfully incorporate lifestyle changes without disrupting my whole existence? Really, why is that?

The school year is fast approaching, and for the first time, I will have all my children in school full-time. Although I've enjoyed my little boys, I'm so excited for them to be off to school for the day. But I'm still not quite sure how that reduction in daily responsibility with affect me. What am I going to do with all that new-found "me" time? I do have fantastic daydreams about how I'll spend my days. I fantasize about working out with a personal trainer in the mornings. I visualize meditative morning walks. I consider getting a new job. I have even secretly relished the idea of taking up a hobby. Or, I could act like a real lunatic and fire the cleaning ladies and spend my mornings waxing the floors (no, very bad idea!).

Sure, there are lots of things I could do. But what are the chances that I really will do anything more than the usual? What does it take to push you into doing something new? How do you get the ball rolling? Really, I'm asking! My greatest fear is that I'll spend my new-found free time folding laundry and shopping the produce aisle at Harmon's...

While contemplating my changing life, I came across an anonymous quote:

Change is good; change is inevitable. But change scares people to death.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.


Gracey said...

I loved this post.

I, too, have a thing with change - don't seem to be able to settle down. I question my career choices all the time, love moving (not the actual process) and get bored very easily. I hope my urge to get away and do something new doesn't prevent me from having a family one day - that would be sad.

As for the free time, you're right as well. We dream about how we would spend it if we had it, but when we do have to spend it, we tend to do nothing of the amazing stuff we initially had in mind. Don't worry, you're not alone there. :)

Anonymous said...

Here's another quote I found:

Change is inevitable....except from a vending machine.

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