Sunday, May 3, 2009

Naked Time is NOT a Sponsored Activity

I think it's probably fair to say that anyone who has children has been exposed to Naked Time. For some reason, every child I have ever known has had a propensity for nudeness. I worried that it might be some freak obsession created by a questionable gene pool... But my friends all claim that they have small stature nudists in their homes as well.

It's impossible to count the number of times my children have come running down the hall, dripping wet from the tub, just as a guest appears at the front door. And the truth is, it's hard to get embarrassed after it has happened umpteen number of times... I think the only thing that still makes me shake my head is when they decide to sit down and watch cartoons before covering their nakedness. Ew. Please don't do that! Underwear is a minimum requirement before any tooshie touches the furniture.

It's a weird thing, nudity... If you've ever been to a nude beach (yes, I have--no need to discuss it..) you know that a general rule is that the less of a certain person you want to see, the more they will expose. That flabby, old guy with the paunch seems to be the most comfortable in his skin. Why isn't it the hot guy with the ripped abs who wants to flaunt it?

My favorite nudist story is about a friend of The Mister's. He was staying in Europe at a resort that had a pool and spa. The first night he visited the pool, he realized that everyone was naked. He, being a fairly conservative guy, felt a little uncomfortable being the only one in swim trunks and didn't stay long. The next day, after some long work hours, he really wanted to go relax by the pool. He decided "when in Rome" and joined the nude masses... At least that's what he thought he was doing. He marched through the doors and into the pool area and was horrified to realize that everyone was wearing swim suits! It seems that he'd decided to join the nudist ranks on the wrong day. Apparently there was a posted schedule of "family days" during which swim wear was required. Oooops!

After hearing that story, I sent Mister's friend web links about new colonies he could join and nudist vacation literature. I'm sure he really appreciated it!

But (pun intended), back to Naked Time. Although it does occur in my home, I want to be clear that I DO NOT participate. So you perverts who are planning to come peek through my windows--get a life! And go get your thrills somewhere else! And for the rest of you--go ahead and admit it... Your kids love Naked Time, too!


honeypiehorse said...

I'm not so hot on naked tushies on furniture either. Esp as they get older.

Fiauna said...

Too, too funny. Thanks for making me smile!

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