Friday, January 23, 2009

Couples Wanted

Sometimes I really have to wonder why The Mister doesn't flee and refuse to return. It's not that I don't give him ample reason, although seriously, I don't intentionally torture him... Fortunately, he seems to harbor a certain fondness for me--even if it is an inexplicable fondness. And this fondness must be the rationale for his willingness to put up with me and my foibles. Honestly, I hope I'd be as willing to return to our chaotic life after a little reprieve.

The Mister returned today from a trip to Twin Falls. He left for Twin, flew back the same day to SLC, only to board another flight that took him to Boise. (Let's not discuss how I feel about this ridiculous travel schedule...) Anyway--this week's travel to St. George, Twin Falls, and Boise, which followed closely upon the heels of the Florida trip of last week, left us with little time together. With face-to-face time in short supply, we took advantage of his return to go out for dinner tonight.

When The Mister returns from his little sojourns, I feel the necessity of filling him in on the happenings of The Bean Family and other (in)significant miscellany. I try to keep these little tirades (I mean informational sessions) light and friendly, but I have a tendency to get a little snarky. My snarkiness might have annoyed him at one point, but now (in his jaded state) he seems to find me moderately amusing.

We enjoyed our evening at the ever-fabulous Cafe Trio, but my usual snarkiness was diverted by my interested distraction sparked by the patrons at the next table. They were a carefree group of four couples, and I found myself preoccupied by their jocularity. Watching this group led our conversation to the fact that we used to be one of those couples. But lately, we no longer seem to have any real "couple friends" with whom we do things. I intoned that we are too cool for friends--he hedged that we are too busy for friends--the truth is probably that our family life has just been too unpredictable to plan around.

The truth of the matter is, while I love spending time alone with The Mister, I do miss our evenings out with the adults. I miss Dinner Club. I miss adult movies (no, I'm not talking about porn!). I miss nuanced humor. I miss camaraderie.

Not too many years ago we had all kinds of friends. We had two kids and we were always game for an outing. We had more invitations to go out than we could possibly accept. I'm not sure at what point we segued from outgoing couple to reclusive parents of five. But somehow, that's what we've become. I think family schedules got complicated, babysitters became more difficult to find, after a while, we just stopped trying...

I think we're at the point where we would like to cultivate some new friendships in the realm of coupledom. (Although, let's not mistake this for a request to join a group of swingers!) I don't want to be the snarky mom who is desperate for outside contact. I want to be the fun, outgoing girl that The Mister married.

So, if you are feeling a similar disconnect from adult interaction, I'd love to hear from you. We could meet for dinner and a movie. Or maybe just dinner. Or maybe just dessert. Just drinks? Is this beginning to sound like a blind date? Somehow this proposal is reminiscent of a first date where the couple makes a brief connection just to get a feel for the situation... Regardless, I'd love to find some nice couples willing to meet for an evening out once in a while. If you're game, or even if you're just feeling similarly disengaged, I'd love to hear from you!

2 comments:

dabesteni said...

Similarly disengaged, here. Yes, I'd LOVE to spend some quality couple time together. Alas, I have married a mister who is considerably more introverted than I, thus our couples times have been limited only to those couples who are very closely related(to him. Mind you, I love my brothers and sisters-in-law, but sometimes I just wish my mister would entertain the idea of hanging out with my friends. **heavy sigh**. Maybe well just have to hang out when the misters are working late or are out of town.

heartsfullofjoy said...

love too! but too far away.

are you sure you aren't yellow?

 
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